In cases of domestic violence (DV) and child abuse, it’s often difficult to untangle the web of manipulation and control that perpetrators weave, even after they’ve been convicted. For Sara, a survivor who has fought relentlessly to protect her children and escape a toxic, abusive relationship, the battle is far from over. Despite his conviction and imprisonment, the man who caused her immense pain still controls much of her life—and continues to put her children at risk.
This is the story of how one man, with a history of domestic violence, child endangerment, and child sexual abuse, has managed to extend his reach from behind bars, enlisting the help of his father to maintain control over Sara and her family.
A History of Abuse
The man at the center of Sara’s ongoing nightmare, Kristoffer Hexter, has a deeply troubling history. Not only was he convicted of child endangerment, but he was also convicted of sexually assaulting a 14 year old girl living in his home. His past is marked by repeated incidents of abuse and manipulation, and despite being incarcerated, he continues to orchestrate the abuse from afar.
According to reports, the man has been convicted with a number of serious offenses, including endangering the welfare of children. His violent tendencies and disregard for the safety of others were clear. These actions allowed for Sara to obtain a PFA (protection from abuse order)
Yet, even with a conviction and incarceration, he managed to exploit his power and influence to perpetuate the cycle of abuse against Sara and her children.
The Man Who Controls From Prison
Although he was sentenced and locked away, his grip on Sara’s life has not loosened. In a chilling move, the man enlisted his father to take over the role of controlling Sara and her children. From prison, he directed his father to continue the abuse via the family court system, using him as a pawn in his relentless efforts to maintain control over his victims. This manipulation allowed him to further trap Sara in a situation where her freedom and safety were constantly at risk, even though the perpetrator himself was behind bars.
Sara, caught in a vicious cycle, is unable to break free. Her efforts to protect herself and her children are undermined by the patriarchal forces at play—the abusive man in prison and his enabler, his father, working together with the system that is designed to protect, yet exists to only give the illusion of protection, to create a power dynamic that continued to terrorize her family.
The Unrelenting Nature of Abuse
What makes this situation particularly tragic is that Sara is not just fighting one abuser but a system of control that spans generations, and has now managed to involve the courts. Bruce Hexter is assisting his son’s manipulative behavior, further entrenches the cycle of abuse. It’s not just about physical violence; it’s about psychological warfare, the constant gaslighting, the manipulation, and the threat of harm to Sara and her children. Even when the abuser is physically removed from the situation, his reach extends through those who are willing to carry out his will. In Sara’s case, The Hexter men have managed to find two legal professionals, who are willing to violate their oaths and assist in the abuse. No one can explain how this case exists, or why the courts continue to force the children to spend time with their abusers father.
Sara’s attempt to move on and create a safe environment for her children has been thwarted at every turn. The father-son duo remains determined to keep her trapped in the same toxic, dangerous situation. Their goal is clear: prevent Sara from escaping their control and force her back into a life of fear and submission. Now with the assistance of Attorney Harshberger, and Judge Menges ignoring all legal safeguards to protect abuse victims.
The System’s Failure to Protect
Sadly, this is not an isolated case. Many survivors of domestic violence, especially those who have children, find themselves in similar situations. When abusers are able to manipulate others from behind bars or through intermediaries, the system fails to protect the victims. Law enforcement, social services, and the courts must do more to recognize and address these extended forms of abuse that go beyond physical violence. In this case and a lot of cases the system designed to protect, only makes the abuse worse. For Sara, the system seems to take joy in placing the children in harms way. She is not alone. We have encountered countless others in York with stories of the same Judge, Christopher Menges, siding with the abuser.
In Sara’s case, the justice system has convicted the man for his crimes, but it has not fully stopped his influence. This highlights a serious flaw in how we handle cases of domestic violence and child endangerment. While Sara has taken all the necessary steps to protect herself and her children, the ongoing manipulation from her abuser’s family continues to place them in jeopardy.
Breaking the Cycle
It’s crucial that we shine a light on the ways abusers can extend their reach even after being convicted. By raising awareness of these stories, we can better protect survivors like Sara from the continued threats of violence and control. We must support those who have escaped an abuser’s grip in every way possible—whether it’s through legal protections, social support, or simply standing up and telling their story. This includes exposing the legal professionals that are not doing their job to protect.
Sara’s fight is far from over, but she is not alone. There is a growing movement to help survivors of domestic violence break free from the chains of manipulation, control, and abuse. It is time for society to recognize that abuse does not end when an abuser is incarcerated. The struggle for safety and peace continues until survivors can truly live free from fear.
We will continue our movement to expose all involved.
We as a society need to do everything we can to protect all children. Not enable the abuse.